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Staying Small

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I have been seeing, reading and hearing all too often lately the following three quotes: “No one will care about my business the way I do”; “I cannot afford to hire someone to help me”; and my favorite, “It is just better if I do it myself.”  These statements are attributable to many small business owners, not just creative business owners.  However, the demands placed on artists to be artists AND businesspeople make the statements that much more debilitating for creative businesses.

The truth is each of these statements is a crutch, often far more an illusion than reality and mostly an excuse to justify the fear of success that exists inside a creative business owner.  It is far easier to be overwhelmed by all things mundane than to be raw and exposed for what you most stand for.  If you are saying these statements (to yourself or out loud), you are hiding and preventing your business from becoming what it deserves to become.

Why so harsh?  Because the corollary to the statements means freedom to do what you are most meant to: create art.  I get so frustrated and am deeply pained when I see and hear of artists justifying themselves out of being the best that they can be.  So to take each statement in turn:

Your name might be on the door or you might be the one signing the checks, but that does not mean you cannot challenge and incent your employees to believe in your business as passionately as you do.  It starts with giving employees responsibility AND authority over what you are asking them to do for you.  Dare them to be wrong.  You are – a lot.  Giving control does not mean turning a blind eye.  Quite the opposite, it is about setting expectations and providing all that you can (your time and resources) to ensure their success.  Believe in them so that they can believe in you.  That said, you have to give them something to believe in.  Yes, you need to take a stand and say, “This is what we are all about.”

Affording help? The world today is full of alternative ways to garner the resources you need to best leverage (read: not do) those tasks you do not enjoy.  Virtual assistants, part-time bookkeepers, flex-time employees, and fully commissioned sales assistants are all terrific examples of cost-effective services available.  Moreover, convincing yourself that you cannot afford help is a great way for you to not have to think about what it would take to make it happen.  For instance, if you are scared of hiring someone because of your slow season, what are you doing to smooth your cash flow and get money coming in the door to pay the bills when you are slow? Consulting, developing a retainer business, even starting a membership are all examples of business extensions that would make it possible for you to hire an employee to help you grow your business.

You are a human being.  You rock at some things and I dare say suck at others.  And even if you do not suck, you might not have the passion to keep doing the task every day.  For instance, if your creative business actually produces art for clients (i.e., a florist, baker, restaurant, furniture maker, stationer, etc.), then you probably make some or all of your money on the mark-up of goods.  Simple: buy your materials and labor cheaper and sell at the same price and you make more money.  I could never be a buyer since I do not get particular joy out of buying the best quality at the lowest price.  I would rather just have it right away.  Can I do it?  Sure.  Can I sustain it? No.  But I certainly know many people that are tickled if they get the same thing for less.  That person is your buyer.  You will be excited when the $200 they save you each week turns into $10,000 at the end of the year.  See statement number one – find employees that love to do what you are asking them to and then give them the responsibility and authority to make it happen.  They will do a better job than you ever could.  Oh, and how much more excited would the employee be if they knew they would be getting part of the $10,000 they saved you?

We are all guilty of putting mental roadblocks in place.  Ironically, they can give you a sense of control when what they are really doing is making you small.  Control is really containment.  Art, by definition, is expansive.  My hope here is that you allow yourself to move past your roadblocks and let your creative business serve your art.

Time is Money

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I attended the Council for Public Relations’ Critical Issues Forum today. The clients and PR firms in the room were mostly in the business of selling consumer products. In fact, the keynote speaker was Mark Pritchard, the head of marketing for Procter and Gamble, who oversees, ahem, a $2 billion (yes, billion) annual marketing budget.  The predominant topic was how best to integrate the two-way dialogue created by social media into traditional advertising and public relations efforts.  The words “transparency”, “truthfulness”, “authenticity”, “candor” and “courage” were what the experts were saying was required in the new normal.  Ignore Trip Advisor at your own risk.  Have the courage to do what Domino’s Pizza has done and say our product sucks, but we are going to fix it.

I love how deeply these marketing and PR experts get that the success of a brand and product now depends on building relationships and creating an emotional, lasting connection.  The days of one-way communication are gone forever.

So ironic when I compare it to the world of creative business.  Up until recently, creative business was all about developing and nurturing a bond with clients, colleagues and vendors.  The vision was to create great work to fuel the “word of mouth” that would lead to the next assignment and the one after that. However, in today’s world order, with massive competition and a shrinking pie, most creative business owners feel pressured to focus less on the connection and more on the sale.  There are “packages” everywhere, low-priced offerings, extreme discounts and many other less than scrupulous goings on.  The feeling is that you have to do everything you can to nail the sale lest the competition swoop in.

At the Denver Creative Business Symposium I hosted on Monday, one attendee commented that he just wished he could have a Paypal/Pay Now button on his site so that if a client saw what they liked they could just sign up right then and there.  The other attendees generally agreed, with “wouldn’t that be nice” nodding and wistful stares.  The argument goes: if someone wants to give us money, shouldn’t we be making it easier, not harder, for them to give it to us?

To which I would say, you are not in the product business, you are in the trust business.  If you rush to close the sale before you have cemented your client’s trust in you, your art and your creative business, you are risking everything.  You might get lucky and everything will go swimmingly.  Or it won’t.  Relationships take time to nurture and demand honesty, integrity and faith in your own value.  Your goal has to be to stretch, not shrink the time for romance.  The rush to expediency is more a crisis of confidence than anything else.  There are no shortcuts.  A great site, blog and social media presence is only a conversation starter.  The rest is up to you.

Community

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Creative business owners are all professionals, collegial and supportive of each other.  That is, until as Marcy Blum put so aptly at Engage!10: The Breakers, there is a potential client [for her, a bride], then we are like lions fighting over a carcass. Hilarious and, unfortunately, oh so true.

I loathe the idea of earning business at the expense of others (which, to Marcy’s extraordinary credit, she never does).  Whether that means your competition pays any kind of fee you do not (read commission, referral, preferred vendor, advertising, etc.) or if you get your business by besmirching the reputation of your peers to your own aggrandizement.  It is such a myopic and small view of the world.  You might win in the short term and even be able to sustain your business that way.  But in the end you will always be questioning your own self-worth.  Are you getting the business because you are good or because you are willing to cheat?

Call me naïve, overly-optimistic or even a Pollyanna, but business integrity with a kick-ass business model that is an intrinsic reflection of what you are all about will carry the day.  Do what you do and never, ever apologize for it.

What does this have to do with community?  If you view your competition as someone you need to beat, you miss the opportunity to turn them into your clients.  And that is my mantra: wherever possible, turn your competition into clients.

Rather than pay money to be on a preferred vendor list, why not offer your expertise as to what they can do to improve their business.  Think about their business.  Understand what drives them and also what should be driving them.  Then fill the void.  If you undertake the task of figuring out how to put multiples of any fee you pay into your vendors pocket by improving their business, how much business do you think will come your way?  That you would do a great job for them and represent them extraordinarily well is a given.

For those that are direct competitors, why not look at what they are doing with the same mindset as vendors you would like business from?  Nobody has the expertise you do even if they are in the same business.  Figuring out what you can do to help their business can lead to an entirely new business for you.  It can also lead to new and interesting partnerships that you would never have thought of had you looked to chew their leg off, lest they beat you to the carcass.

Is it a radical way to be? Sure.  But community need not go out the window when the pie shrinks or if competition grows.  Quite the opposite.  There is always a better mouse-trap and a way to improve on convention.  Jonathan Fields wrote a great post today on how we all fall into convention and just assume this is the way it has to be done (I put my silverware in face-down).  Evolution and progress is all about community questioning convention and being willing to go another way.  You do not have to be a maverick to effect change.  You just have to be willing to see the world from eyes other than yours and ask why.

Judging Clients

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This past weekend I went with my family to the Sheep and Wool Festival in Rhinebeck, New York.  Lots of sheep and vendors trying to sell everything related to sheep – wool, yarn, sweaters, accessories, toys, etc.  There were well over 100 vendors selling their wares.  The kids wanted a toy and we found interesting hand-crafted woolen dolls with large heads and wooden arms and legs.  $30 each.  A lot for a doll, but these were very interesting and both kids really liked them.  As we were about to buy them, the vendor (presumably the artist) said, “You know these are not really for kids.  They are just too delicate.”  This despite both kids holding them gingerly and admiring them.  Very clearly she did not to sell me her art.  I believe in positive exchanges wherever possible, especially when it comes to my children, so we passed on the dolls.  The kids were disappointed until they found something else they liked a few stands away.

When I relayed the story to my wife, Cate, she said, “I sense a blog post coming.”  I was already miles ahead of her.

Your job as an artist and creative business owner is to create art for those that value it most, not to decide whom those people are.  To presume that a client is not a fit because they will not value your art as you would have them is just plain arrogant.  If you are in business (as the doll vendor is), then your validation comes in the form of a client (happily) purchasing your art for the value you establish.  If you need recognition of any other form, then creative business is not the place for you.

At Engage!10: The Breakers, Cindy Novotny gave the example of Hermes’ success during the recession (double digit sales growth from 2007-2010).  She talked about how they embrace their customer and value everyone that walks in their doors – offering water, asking what they are looking for, etc.  They presume that anyone that walks in their door is their customer.  She juxtaposed this with an example of an unnamed high-end retailer where the experience was the opposite:  indifferent, aloof service and judgment of everyone that comes in.

While at Preston Bailey, I saw more than my fair share of billionaires (yes, billionaires) walk in looking quite shabby (severe understatement).  To Preston’s credit, he did not ever and would never judge what he saw.  Preston only values a client’s desire to work with him. If they value his work, want him to design their event for them and have the wherewithal to make it happen, that is more than enough for him.  He truly does not care what his clients look like or what they represent.  The same cannot be said of several of his competitors.  And, more often than not, who do you think got the job?

Lest you think this is a small example, ask yourself if you have ever said out loud that you want to get into the luxury or high-end market.  How do you think your clients would feel if they heard you say it?  Gratitude is pervasive and infectious, as is arrogance.  You cannot control who will most value (i.e., love) your art, but you can control your response to their enthusiasm.  Choosing to be a wet blanket (like the woolen toy vendor) would not be my choice and I do hope it will not be yours.

Business Acumen

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We can only be who we are.  The best version of you is the one that is truest to your core.  What just feels right.  The you you cannot and do not want to ignore.  Mostly, it is the you you do not want to ever apologize for and are willing to defend even in the face of the harshest criticism.

I hear all the time:  “I love [you fill in the art – taking pictures, designing spaces, making invitations, arranging flowers, etc.], but I am really not very good at business” or “I have been in business for [5] years.  I don’t have any business education and I always feel like I am just winging it.”

There are many experts telling you what you need to do to run your business: write a business plan, make sure you have great (i.e., onerous) contracts, have more than one option for your clients, be all things social media, network, plan some more, create boundaries, be available 24/7.  It gives me a headache.  No wonder most creative business owners feel like they are not doing it right or that they just are not very good at business.  People are trying to give you a formula when you spend your life as an artist not being constrained by rules.

I am most certainly not saying that the business advice you receive is not valuable.  It is.  But, like any information/education you receive, it has to be in the context and the fabric of what works for you, your art and your creative business.  The advice has to help you get closer to yourself, not further away.  The power of any advice should be to inform you, never decide and definitely never shame you.  Only you and you alone should have the power to construct your creative business.  If you allow anyone else to dictate how and why you do things – whether literally or as a voice in your head — you will never feel whole because, at base, you will be an imitation.  Better to be yourself.  Always.

It is very simple.  The best business model for your creative business is the one that works best for you.  The one that is truest to your core.  The one that just feels right.  The one you will never apologize for and are willing to defend even in the face of the harshest criticism.  Yes, exactly as you would wish you and your art to be.

Bryan Rafanelli charges for his events like a law firm – hourly billing.  Preston Bailey charges a design fee for his events.  Vicente Wolf a percentage of the cost of his design for his interior design projects.  Which one is better?  Wrong question.  Bryan, Preston and Vicente are all incredibly comfortable with how they do things.  Their business models reflect who they are as people and artists. Works for them, may or may not for you.

Insights From Engage!10: The Breakers

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This week, I attended and spoke at Engage!10: The Breakers.  Engage! is the Allen & Company Sun Valley Conference for the wedding industry.  It is the place where the industry’s best and brightest stars come together for three days to commune, discuss and present their visions of the present and the future.  I feel incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to take part and to hear the wisdom from so many.  My mind is flooded.  It makes no difference whether you are in the wedding industry or not, the following insights apply to your creative business:

From David Beahm – David spoke not about doing pretty (which he does ridiculously well), but about doing well.  Be better, kinder, more related.  Take Mary Kay Ash’s advice: listen twice as much as you talk.  You have two ears and one mouth.  Make the extra effort – one degree can make all the difference.  Watch this video by 212 The Extra Degree.  You do not and will not build a successful creative business on the backs of others.  Thankfully, communities of peers build great organizations today, not master and slave.

From Todd Fiscus, owner of one of the biggest, most profitable event design and production firms in the United States (and several other related businesses too): 2011 is going to be a great year, already better than 2010.  I am cutting overhead expenses (more Indians than Chiefs), changing my business model to better reflect the business I want to be in.  Todd said during his presentation that he could not make one of his events because of a conflict.  Of course, it went off without a hitch and two weeks later the mother-of-the-bride told him how fantastic a job he did.  He hated not being there.  Todd loves seeing the look on everyone’s face when they are at one of his events.  How much they love the food and the fun.  Not getting to see it just is not worth it, no matter how profitable it might be.  Creative businesses do not sell widgets.  They sell joy.  Artists like Todd need to be part of that celebration to honor themselves as artists.  Amen.

From Bryan Rafanelli of Rafanelli Events (the man behind Chelsea Clinton’s wedding – need I say more?): I do perfect.  Bryan embodies the 4P’s.  He showed us pictures of him as a child reveling in the party.  Like Mindy Weiss, creating celebrations is in his genes.  Passion.  He does perfect and has perfect clients.  If it takes 52 linen samples to get the linens right, then that is what it takes.  Philosophy.  Like a law firm, he charges by the hour for him and his staff.  He does not make any money marking up his vendors (although he does receive a referral fee from his vendors which his clients are fully aware of).  My staff and I do perfect and that is what you pay for.  Platform.  From validating parking, to making sure water is offered, to delivering a time lapse video of the set-up for an event, no detail is missed.  Process.  And even though it was fairly evident to everyone in the room that Bryan could grow his brand far beyond doing events (endorsements, licensing, TV, etc.), his focus is on expanding his event business.  Growth v. Expansion.  You can do either, but you cannot do both at the same time.

Of course, there were many many more highlights including some fantastic pearls of wisdom from the incomparable Simon Bailey and the masterful Cindy Novotny.  It is time to shift and make the three minute call you have been avoiding.

We all owe Rebecca Grinnals and Kathryn Arce a debt of gratitude for putting Engage!10: The Breakers together and allowing me to learn so much from so many in such a short time.

A Look Book

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Many advisors and experts stress the importance of writing a business plan and keeping it updated.  No doubt, having a thorough understanding of your business, the market you are in and your competition is an incredibly valuable tool as you plot your future.  However, I would say equally important, if not more so, is to create a Look Book for you, your art and your creative business.  And, if I had to choose to complete one, hands down I would advise most ongoing creative businesses to create a Look Book before writing (or rewriting) a business plan.

The Look Book comes from fashion and is what many designers put together to convey their vision for their brand and what they are planning for the coming season.  I choose to call it a Look Book, but you can call it a Brand Book, Vision Book, or Pitch Book if you like.  My Look Book goes further than all of these generalizations and seeks to define for the reader who you are as an artist, what your creative business stands for, what you have accomplished so far and what you hope to accomplish in the future.  You should be able to customize each book for a particular reader so that, after they go through the Look Book, they know why they should (i.e., have to) do business with you.

To be very specific, your Look Book should include the following sections: Your biography, what inspires you, your brand statement, your media presence, examples of what you have done (i.e., case studies), what you and your creative business can offer the reader, and your contact information.  Your Look Book is a visual statement.  You are telling your story with images and design as much as you are with words.  If you are not a designer by trade (graphic preferably), invest the time (and maybe even a little money) to make the layout and images as appealing as possible.  The Look Book is all that you are distilled into about fifteen pages – so each page counts A LOT.

Why a Look Book? Because creating it makes you define who you are and, as important, who you are not.  It forces you to think about who your creative business has value to and what exactly you offer that will help your clients personally, professionally or both.  Most important, a Look Book is your guide to how you want to sell yourself and to stand apart.  A business plan tells the world (and yourself) the million reasons why your creative business is compelling.  However, a business plan, at base, is a passive exercise and doesn’t challenge the emotional ethos of why you do what you do.  It is intellect over emotional connection.

A Look Book is active and demands that you exude an emotional connection with your art.  At the end of the day, this emotional connection and your ability to sell it to your clients is all that matters.  Yes, you need a relevant and compelling business model and process.  But, the difference between want and need is a razor’s edge.  Need creates long-term demand and, hopefully, long-term financial success.  Getting stuck at want makes you like everyone else.  For you, your art and your creative business to be a “need”, you have to convert your clients to true believers with a deep emotional connection to all that you are about.  A Look Book alone will not convert your clients from want to need, but it certainly is a great place to start.

Group Purchasing

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For those that are not familiar with Groupon and the similar offering by The Wedding Channel, the premise is straightforward: a local business offers an incredible deal for one day provided enough people are willing to buy into the deal.  For instance, a new jeans store can offer a 50% discount on merchandise for the day provided at least 1,000 people sign up.  Groupon is a terrific way to get [very] motivated buyers to hear about you, especially if you are a new business with a limited marketing budget.

Many creative businesses, especially photographers, have used Groupon to drive customers to their door.  You can read about the experience of one San Francisco photographer, Joey Chandler, here.   It is not my place to tell a creative business to use or not use a particular tool if they think it will help their business.  However, if the value of your creative business is predicated on you creating art as opposed to the ultimate product delivered, using Groupon is a very risky proposition.

Reducing subjective value (i.e., what you are worth as an artist) to an objective price is a sure way to suck all of the value out of your creative business.  The pressure then moves to charge a premium for objective objects to compensate you for all of your work.  Only so much you can charge for that bouquet, invitation, sofa or cake.

Groupon works only if you are in the business of selling a set or semi-set product and need volume.  In this instance, you have already priced the value of creation at close to zero so anything you get is a bonus.  Easily personalized stationary, lithographs, general décor ideas, and even semi-custom design ideas (graphic, interior, even floral) would be good examples.

The issue comes when you confuse the two and put the price on creation when what you are trying to sell is the product.  To which, it would have been much better for Joey to highlight the prints/CD’s he was selling rather than the one-hour session he was basically giving away.  Perhaps an increasing discount on the number of prints ordered – 50% on the first ten 8×11’s, 70% thereafter up to twenty.  Maybe even leave off the session details altogether or at least put them in the fine print.

Customers may understand  Groupon and the like are one-time only offers, but if you tell the market that the creation of your art is (virtually) worthless, then that is what they will be willing to pay for it in the future.  Placing no value on creation is fine if your creative business is based on product sales; a slow, painful death if it is not.

Little By Little

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I have had many successes in my business career and worked with some amazing artists during The Business of Being Creative’s first year.  Out of respect for my client’s desire for privacy and confidentiality, I have chosen not to discuss any of them.  Until now.

With Judy’s permission, this is the story of how the Little By Little blog came to be.  But first a little background:

Judy Stevens has run a playgroup for 2-3 year olds for the last 26 years.  There are two groups of three boys and three girls (twelve total) each year.  Both of my children have participated in her playgroup.  In addition, my wife, Cate, and I regularly consult Judy for her advice on how to know our children better and  thereby become better parents (and people) in the process.  In the spirit of Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink, Judy is a master intuitive.   She spontaneously (and almost instantly) knows how to handle any situation parents of young children might experience.  And yet, if you blink (pun intended), you will miss Judy’s brilliance.  Judy does not offer a roadmap as much as she does energy and spirit.  Hers is truly about relationship and being able to see children as they are without the bias we all bring as parents. Think Zen Master (thank you Cate) and not Supernanny.  If you ask anyone (parent or child) who has had the good fortune to have been part of her playgroup, you will hear only the grandest of accolades and even these fall short. We are all immensely grateful to Judy’s most powerful gift – to help children celebrate themselves for all that they are and are not.

While Judy wanted to share her experiences with a broader audience and grow a consulting business, she was both at a loss as to how to do it and VERY reluctant to shine the spotlight on herself.  Yes, I know she needs to put her picture on her blog.  Everything in time.  When we started, Judy did not know what a blog was and, when I told her, her initial reaction was: “why would I EVER want to do that?!?”  To which I said – “Because it is the best way for you to reach those who want to listen.”  And so we began.  Each step was a distillation of Judy’s idea of what she wanted to share.

We started with journaling.  That got us to the heart of what Judy was most passionate about – giving an authentic voice to children and imparting the wisdom of an elder to parents.  It took a long time for Judy to own her identity as an elder and I do not think the blog would have launched without her embracing the role.

Then came the time to focus on what the business behind Little by Little was going to be.  Judy does what she does because she loves it.  She did not start the blog to fill the playgroup or so that she could charge more.  The playgroup is truly first come first serve.  She could double her price tomorrow and there would still be a line of parents around the block.  She started the blog because she wants to expand her work with families to bring her experience directly into their homes.

Judy needed a platform.  What would she say when someone asked how her consulting business worked?  After 26 years, she has the playgroup process down cold.  Not so much the consulting business.  And, of course, what to charge?  We had to work through just how valuable her service was going to be.  No, there would not be one-off sessions.  Families would have to commit to multiple sessions.  Yes, she would deliver her observations and thoughts along the way.  No, she would not be available 24/7.

Judy did not start working on the actual blog until she felt comfortable with the business and her message.  Trisha Hay and Ben Child’s Chariot designed the blog with Judy and, together, they created what you see now.  The sketch of Fast Food, the turtle, is Judy’s.  The look and feel of the blog is a true collaboration between Judy, Trisha and Ben.  The result is just so Judy and her wisdom oozes throughout.  The whole process (from our work to the launch of Little by Little last week) took the better part of a year and I would not have had her do it in any less time.

I have no idea where Judy will take the blog or what will come of it.  I can say I would be really surprised if you see her on Facebook, Twitter, et al. anytime soon.  Judy will never be a proselytizer.  The message is there for those who choose to find it and I am sure many will.  Will she be successful financially?  No clue.  But because we are here with such clarity, Judy has already succeeded far beyond what I originally thought possible.

I am so proud of my work with Judy because, in my mind, she is the beneficiary of the sum of my experience.  With my help, Judy has dared to take the leap into the unknown; to allow herself to be seen and even judged by those that might not get what she is all about.  She is not without fear and doubt, but she is doing it anyway.  My prayer for all creative businesses is that they become the best version of themselves, true to the art behind them and the intrinsic value that only they possess.  To me, that is what Little by Little represents.

Movement

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I am hypersensitive.  Not in the physical sense, but when it comes to emotion, personal interactions and especially criticism.  My gift and my curse is that I deeply feel all that comes my way.  My gift because I can usually “read” what is going on inside a person very quickly.  Empathy comes naturally and easily.  My curse because criticism and judgment (even if well placed) are exquisitely painful.  Over the years, I have learned to protect myself from the avalanche so much so that I am often told that I am very hard to read.  I have to work very hard to stay in a place of being open and truly present to those around me.

Many creative business owners share my hypersensitivity.  In the context of creating art and running a business, the issue is not so much trying and failing as much as it is the criticism and judgment of somehow being less than.  So long as people can say, “that is/was such a cool idea” as it goes down in a ball of flames there is no issue.  It is only when they say, “what were you thinking?!?” that we are undone.  The dagger of criticism doesn’t stop me from producing great work and coming up with terrific, even outrageous ideas, but, if I let it, it can kill spontaneity and limit my ability to just lay the indefensible out there without expectation.  The difference between really good and exceptional is often a moment of spontaneous inspiration.

Seth Godin, in Linchpin, talks about the need to quiet the Lizard Brain as it holds us back from putting ourselves all the way out there.  Fear.less shows us the power of overcoming fear to manifest our potential.  Danielle Laporte motivates through her unending commitment to move us into the glory of our very humanness instead of constantly running from it.  I love the messages Seth, Fear.less and Danielle deliver and try to listen to them, and many others like them, every day.

My point here is not so much about overcoming anything as much as it is embracing what is.  Yes, you have to move forward and grow.  You, your art and your creative business have to be constantly evolving.  Like a fish, if you stop moving, you die.  However, you cannot move for movement’s sake.  You have to move with the humility and grace of knowing who and what you are today.  There is no such thing as leaving your old self (or business behind).  Life is a process and just when you think you are past something, there it is again.  The joy of moving with humility and grace is that you are truly free to explore what’s next.  I have moved in reaction to never wanting to be judged as less than, yet the judgment comes anyway (mostly from myself).  I strive to move precisely because there will be judgment.

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